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Barb

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So far Barb has created 66 blog entries.

Can One Person Make a Difference?

Can one person make a difference? The answer is “Yes!” if your job is social director of an assisted living facility. The caregivers are the necessity for the residents as they are needed for their everyday physical needs.  Is that enough?   No, it is not enough, you need a “Diane!”   Someone that boosts the residents spirits, some one that make something special out of the ordinary.  I personally (as did my mom) love her seasonal decorations that just liven-up the facility with love, hope, and joy.  The decorations transformed the institution into something beyond walls and hallways.

Diane brings out “the heart” of the facility.  She makes an ordinary day into a special Bingo day.   She gets the residents active in the activities, no easy task when many think they would rather be alone.

I have worked with many people in many different jobs. I have to say that Dianne is one the most dedicated employees I have seen.   Her energy seems boundless and her fun colorful outfits and fun personality is just what the doctor ordered.   By putting her heart into her job she transforms an institutional setting into a homey, fun place for the residents.  She is always willing to give herself to raise the spirit of those around her. She truly cares about taking her job to another level, to raise the spirit of the people she interacts with.  She is such a treasure and I’m so glad she sees the residents as her friends and my mom is one of them.  Can one person make a difference?  The answer is “Yes” when you bring such joy to your job.

Memorial Day – Lest We Forget

Approximately 620,000 soldiers lost their lives during the Civil War. It was a catastrophic loss of life. Decoration Day was instituted to decorate the Civil War graves with flags and May flowers.  Decoration Day was later changed to Memorial Day to remember the brave soldiers that gave their life instead of emphasizing their graves.  After World War I, Memorial Day was expanded to include all American fallen heroes.

Many Americans equate Memorial Day with the start of the summer season with picnics, parties, time off work, swimming and other leisure activities.  The devastation and bravery of war is rarely the emphasis of this three day weekend. One of the many ways to honor our war heroes, is to visit a preserved battlefield, I would suggest spending time walking in the footsteps of these historic heroes to feel the sacred and sober energy that resides in the blood stained grounds.

I recently visited the Wilson’s Creek Battlefield, operated by the National Park Service. It was the location of the second battle of the Civil War and the first fought west of the Mississippi River. It’s here that 537 Union and Confederate soldiers killed each other and thousands more were wounded in August 1861. Both sides hoped the fight would determine Missouri’s course — slave state or free. The Confederates won the battle but did not achieve its major objective of taking over Missouri, which very likely would have led to its secession from the Union. Most people in Missouri wanted to stay neutral but there were many, including the governor, who wanted to secede.

On the battlefield is the preserved Ray house. I can’t imagine how scared the Ray family must have been when over 10,000 Southern soldiers descended on their farm. All their fields, crops and animals were confiscated with no supplies for the family to make it through the next winter.

 

Ray House

On the morning of August 10th, some of the Ray children were outside tending to their horses when a Confederate soldier told them to take shelter because there was going to be a fight. All of the Ray family including their slave Rhoda and her four children took shelter in the cellar where they stayed for the entire six-hour battle. John Ray sat on the front porch throughout the battle and observed the action in his cornfield and the continuing action on what became known as Bloody Hill.

Depiction of General Lyon’s death

Near Bloody Hill, Union General Nathaniel Lyon caught a musket ball through the heart and was killed. He was the first Union general to die in the Civil War.  General Lyon had a premonition that he was going to die in battle that day. He told his chief of staff, “I am a believer in presentiments, and I have a feeling that I can’t get rid of that I shall not survive this battle.” He later added, “I will gladly give my life for a victory.”  A Confederate soldier said General Lyon was one of the bravest soldiers he ever met.  His funeral was attended by approximately 15,000 people, his death touch those near and far.  We should never forget our heroes but we should be careful not to glamorize war.

I agree with this presidential quote, “Peace is the real and right memorial for those who have died in war.”  I pray we can find ways to resolve conflicts without killing each other and live in a harmonic world that honors the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shall not kill.”

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Anger Is Contagious

Beware anger is contagious.  Don’t allow others anger to become yours.

                                              Prabakaran Thirumalai

On our recent airplane trip to Chicago, we were getting settled into our seats in row 12 when a woman went into row 11 and turned to look at us and shouted in our faces, “I’m seating in row 11,” which by the way was the row she was standing in at that moment.  She added, “You are in my seat!”  I looked at Joel and went to get up to show her the row numbers.  Before I could do that the calm gentlemen in row 10 stated she was in the right row, row 11.   She quickly took her seat without acknowledging she had made an error.

I was seating there thinking how wrong she was to yell at us and did she not have the decency to acknowledge she was wrong.  Then I realized that her anger had seeped into my heart and head.  Anger is truly contagious; so I prayed to remove the anger from me and to get back to my place of peace and love, for I knew it was more important to live in peace than to be right.  I was justified to tell that story over and over again but what would that do for me but confirm I was right to complain and every time I told the story the anger would seep back into my heart.

This is a very simplistic example but it made me understand how anger can run rampart from person to person.  As I look back at this scenario, I realize how much anger that woman was holding inside of her for her to scream at us.  It was her cry for love.   When people live with anger in their heart it comes screaming out, they are the ones that need kindness the most.   Next time I get falsely accused I hope I can put the anger I caught from them aside to buy them a snack box and break the chain reaction of hate that anger causes. I’ve come to learn that true forgiveness is not getting upset in the first place.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Do You Believe What You Wear?

What does your t-shirt say about you?  T-shirts logos and sayings are your message to the world. T-shirts herald many messages from sports teams, vacation locations, cartoon characters, movies (e.g. Star Wars) activities you love, restaurants (e.g.Hard Rock Cafe), designer’s logos or designer names. There are also humorous sayings, positive sayings and way too many negative shirts.  Have you ever thought about what your T-shirt says about you?  Well, Shawn Aswad has. She has added another category, compliments. She says she’s hoping to change the world, one compliment at a time, with her line of t-shirts.

She founded Complimentees last July on the hopes and dreams that positive words can change lives. That a positive message read, can bring a smile and make a difference in one life in that one moment. But with greater hopes that if we take that one and multiply it by thousands, all over the world, the change can be epic. As Shawn states, “We can never have enough kindness in the world, especially now in its current state.  But it goes farther than kindness and is about living a positive lifestyle.  If we can rid the negativity, the kindness will come!  Not everyone has the courage to go up to strangers and say something positive…but everyone can wear it.”

Examples of the compliments on her t-shirts include, “You Are You Powerfully Brave,” “You Look Fantastic” and “You Are a Superhero”.   My favorite is “You Make Me Smile.” The most popular is, “You Make Me Want to Dance.”

Abraham Lincoln knew the power of a compliment. Lincoln wrote in a letter to Thurlow Weed in 1865, as noted in Donald Phillips’ book, Lincoln on Leadership.  The passage says, “As a lawyer in Springfield the effect of his compliments on others provided a powerful motivational force in getting things accomplished.”

Shawn believes in complimenting others whenever she can.   How about you? How many compliments did you give yesterday?  How many times did you rebuke someone yesterday?  Did you say more positive words than negative words? It makes a difference to those around you, as well as, to yourself.   If you are not good at giving compliments perhaps a Complimentee would help change that.

Complimentees help fund Shawn’s dog rescue, Snooty Giggles.  Shawn founded Snooty Giggles over a decade ago to rescue dogs with special needs and/or medical needs.  She has saved thousands of dogs. So, every shirt helps physically challenged dogs and perhaps brings a smile to someone that really needs it.  To Shawn the dogs of Snooty Giggles have always been her inspiration and motivation for positive living; the dogs are always giving unconditional love even with their physical challenges. She believes that there is no such thing as special needs, only super powers.

Shawn is a Caring Heart winner for spreading kindness one shirt at a time, for loving dogs that others may no longer love, and most of all for making the world a better, more positive place, one t-shirt at a time.  She always believes what she wears.

Why not give ten compliments today and it that is too difficult perhaps you should purchase a Complimentee at https://complimentees.com/.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

She Opened Her Eyes and Knew She Had to Help

“You can close your eyes to the things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the things you don’t want to feel.” Johnny Depp

Have you ever seen something so unthinkable, you wished it could be erased from your mind as if you never saw it? Well, that is exactly the first reaction of second grade teacher, Krysten Case, when she heard about the human trafficking happening in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio. In that Ohio County approximately 1,200 women are arrested each year for solicitation. Over 92% are identified as victims of human sex trafficking — first trafficked for sex at the average age of 13 through force, fraud, or coercion. It is easy to close our eyes but it is happening all over our country, in every state. At first, Krysten spent a lot of time trying to forget about human trafficking for about a year, but various things about it kept popping back up into her world until she knew she had to open her eyes.

Many of us when we hear about terrible situations we close our eyes, but not Krysten. She researched to find out the facts and was deeply moved by the stories of the women enslaved by human trafficking. She had not realized human trafficking was happening in the United States, we tend to think of it as an over-seas problem. She also learned about Freedom ala Cart. Krysten states, “This non-profit organization helps the human trafficking survivors restore, rebuild, and begin their lives as the women they were made to be. The work they do is incredible. No one else has the model they have…walking women from their very first step into CATCH court, all the way to gaining their permanent independence, establishing employment, and reuniting with their children and families.” (CATCH stands for Changing Actions To Change Habits. It’s a special docket court created by Judge Paul Herbert in Columbus, Ohio. See catchcourt.org to find out more.)

When God whispered in her ear; Krysten knew she had to do something. She knew she couldn’t eradicate it and she knew what she could do was only a drop in the bucket. Many times the problem seems so huge we don’t see where we fit in; so we don’t try. However, God gave Krysten a picture of the jewelry she was to make, a metal circle with “free” stamped in it. She had no idea how to create it, but Krysten and her husband found a way to do it and FancyFreedomDesigns was born.

The funny thing about being only a drop in the bucket, the drops accumulate and become something greater, just like those buckets at water parks that accumulate water and when full enough, they tip over to cool off the willing swimmers with a big splash.

With every piece of jewelry worn, one more person becomes aware and they can then share the story and more drops are added into the bucket. With every piece sold more money is donated and another survivor is helped.

I am proud to present Krysten Case with this month’s Caring Heart Award for her determination to be a positive force for human trafficking survivors, just by taking small steps toward making a difference. Krysten opened her eyes and became an inspiration to us all, because if a second grade teacher can make a difference why can’t we all? Thank you, Krysten, for you dedication, passion and courage. If everyone put in a drop, the bucket would spill even faster. Just think what could be accomplished.

In Krysten’s words, “We are all here on this planet for a reason. We have things to do, people to influence and to inspire, a difference to make somewhere, somehow in this world. There are so many things in the world that need attention, time, money, solutions. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed by this. Not every problem is meant for you to fix or solve. Keep an eye open for the things that tug at your heart over and over. Listen closely to those small nudges toward the same thing again and again. If you’re a praying person, ask God to help show you which solution you need to become a part of. When you land on it, this is your bucket, so to speak. Once you find it, start putting as many drops in as you can! (And if you aren’t sure what it is yet…start putting drops in any bucket for now…Just start small and keep going. You’ll figure it out.”)

So, do you Fancy Freedom? Then show it by wearing or giving a unique piece of jewelry, and help fight modern-day slavery.  Why not shop Krysten’s store?  She does great custom work.  I love my bracelet!

Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart award?

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

End of Life Kindness 

“Be kind…the moments I regret the most are the ones I could have been kinder.”  Barbara Bush

 

With the passing of Barbara Bush, many of her quotes have hit social media.  It seems to me, that being in the public eye seemed to bring out the best of Barbara Bush. Reading these quotes have restored some of my faith in womankind.  She was a true beacon of light. With the passing from life to death comes wisdom.  We can all learn from those that were born before us. Today, I welcome our guest blogger, Cindy Edge to discuss her insights.

“I have had the privilege as a professional nurse to work with oncology (cancer) and hospice patients.  They often have insights and perspectives about life and death that have been beacons for my own life.  As these patients and their family and friends deal with loss and grief, the patient’s themselves become the teachers.  I have intently listened to their stories, their hopes, dreams and regrets. In listening to their stories, I have learned not to fear death.  But more importantly, these rare insights have taught me how to live.  I know with certainty that no small act of kindness is wasted, and can in fact make a huge difference.  I would encourage you to look for opportunities to do small random acts of kindness in everyday life.  The impact may be life-changing.”  

Cindy Edge

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Sympathetic Strings and Hugs

We enjoyed a beautiful 85 degree day at Silver Dollar City’s Festival of Wonder this week. We were totally amazed by the earth harp. The harp strings were over 75 feet long stretched the full length of the auditorium above our heads.  When the music played it was like being inside a giant cello, a very different perspective for experiencing  the beautiful music of William Close & The Earth Harp Collective. William Close was a finalist of the 2012 season of America’s Got Talent and a creative genius that has invented over 100 musical instruments, four of which he played during the performance, including the star of the show, the earth harp.  When he plays the earth harp he wears gloves covered in violin resin.  He runs his hands along the strings until they vibrate.  It was a glorious performance.

William Close explained that he would not play the strings on the outer edges because those were sympathetic strings.  Sympathetic strings reinforce and prolong the sound by reflecting the sound of the played strings through synchronous vibration.  In other words, non-played strings vibrate in sympathy to other strings being played.  Isn’t that what kindness is; people reacting in sympathy to others and therefore, raising the vibration of love.  When you do a kind act the act is reflected and further enhances all the people affected by the act.  I’m in gratitude to all the people on the kindness journey.  Together we can reinforce and further vibrate the effects of a kind act.

I was fortunate to sit next to a handicapped teen boy who was unable to express his words in comprehensible English. He seemed to enjoy the concert.  During the concert he would grab my hand to hold it. I told his dismayed mom It was ok. At the end of the concert he went and hugged my husband with his worried mom looking on.  I told him I needed a hug, too.  I did that so his anxious mom would relax and enjoy that special moment where we accepted her son’s unconventional ways. She explained he is such a loving child. In that moment I knew what living kinder is all about, loving and hugging more and being each other’s sympathetic string.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Cultivating Happiness

One of the benefits of this year’s cold spring is enjoying my daffodil blossoms for over a month. It is so miraculous how the daffodil bulbs know it is time to bloom each spring. They look so cheerful, a true harbinger of spring. A quote by Jorge Luis Borges comes to mind: “Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden and decorate your soul.”  It made me think about how some people just bloom in happiness and others just don’t.

  1. There are people that generate happiness. Just like the daffodils, they will bloom year after year bringing love and beauty into the world. They don’t rely on chance or other people; they make the world a more colorful, happy place. It does take time for happiness to blossom and to have miracles. Sometimes the flower is the miracle.  Sometime it is the giving of the flower.  People with internally generated happiness easily reflect this happiness.
  2.   There are people that just do not have happiness in their life. They rather spend their energy on judging, complaining on what is wrong in the world. They do not realize if they give happiness they will have more happiness than they ever thought possible. They easily see only the bad in others, since that is what they feel inside.  “Poor me I have no daffodils.”
  3. There are also people who wait to get their happiness from others.  They will wait to be given daffodils and will be upset if they don’t get them.  They think happiness is derived from their environment and not from their own inner hearts and inner work.

Of course our hearts don’t always live in just one place, but what a happier world it would be if we held more happiness is our hearts. What does happiness have to do with kindness? Everything! My premise is if you are consumed with your own negativity and constant complaining, it is difficult to be kind to others. Go pick some daffodils this spring and spread the joy.

 

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Everyone thinks they are kind, but how kind are you, really?  Live Kinder helps you consider how you can be kinder.  Order the book for yourself and others to help make our world a kinder place.

The Boomerang Effects of Kindness

When I’m sad, I find doing an act of kindness for someone gives me a considerable amount of joy. By writing a letter, baking and delivering cookies or just calling a distant relative initiates happy thoughts. It chases those “poor me” thoughts out of my head. Spreading kindness is always a win for both the receiver and the giver.

Then, there are those really rough, terrible days when you need to know someone cares, you need a friend to hold your hand and a sister to give you a hug. Peggy Onwiler, founder of Sister Hugs, has taken this message to the next level and is this month’s Kindness Warrior Award winner. Many people contribute to the success of Sister Hugs, including Peggy’s friend, Marilyn, who has been with her every step of the way, and Mary who puts most of the inspirational posts on Facebook.

Sister Hugs’ mission is “To brighten a day, to spread a hug. We cannot fix, but we can improve a little bit.” They live their mission by delivering “Love Bombs.” The concept is when someone opens their gift; they are literally “bombed” with love. How fun to put such a positive twist on a negative. Sister Hugs first “Love Bomb” was delivered on July 5, 2012. Sister Hugs has since delivered over 700 Love Bombs all across the country. If you know someone that is going through a difficult time, someone that needs to know that others care, you can nominate them for a Love Bomb. No judgement just kindness.

Sister Hugs is a community of almost 10,000 on Facebook. They further connect people by fundraising for Sister Hugs. There is no better way to connect people than with the mission to spread kindness. It is a village effort with contribution from so many.

If you are in the Lincoln, Nebraska area why not plan to attend Sister Hugs “Spring Fling?” The “Spring Fling” is a first step to taking Sister Hugs to a new level. Peggy states: “Our spring fling is going to be held on April 14 and is a fundraiser for our next phase, “Nana’s Place”. This has been a long-time dream to have a physical address for Sister Hugs. and to create a comfort zone for people to go, to share, to spead time with others. When we think about the Norman Rockwell “Grandma’s House”, we think about cooking together, gardening together, hanging out together, grandma rocking the baby while mom gets some breathing time…all things that can get lost in today’s busy world. We want a place where people can go for a hug and a cup of coffee. Love will be plentiful, judgement left at the door. Our world needs us to act on this today.”

The amazing fact about kindness is that it is a win-win for both the giver and the receiver. As Peggy states, “Everyone who has ever delivered a Love Bomb or been connected to a project always talks about the fact that they end up receiving way more than they give. We refer to that as the boomerang effect. Everyone connected talks about what it does for their heart and how much they want to do it again.”

The boomerang effect is what chases your sadness away when you do something kind. Why not deliver your own Kindness Bomb to today? Perhaps, if you are too busy, Sister Hugs can pick up the baton and relay your kindness for you.

Thank you, Sister Hugs, for your passion and ability to mobilize a community to spread kindness to those that need a hug, to connect others together for great causes, and your positive Facebook messages. A Kindness Warrior is someone who uses love to change the world and someone who champions kindness in all they do. You are a true Kindness Warrior, an inspiration to us all! Thank you, Peggy, for your vision, your passion, and being a true kindness champion.

To find out more about Sister Hugs, follow their Facebook Page by clicking here.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

When You Criticize, It Characterizes You

When my daughter asked me if I wanted to see the Trolls, I said, “Sure!”  I don’t especially enjoy cartoons but it is one of my daughter’s favorite movies so I accepted the invitation.  What a joyous evening listening to my granddaughters, ages 5 and 6, sing every word to every song while watching the movie.  If you haven’t seen the movie, the songs are a definite highlight.  The lead single, “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” won a Grammy award.

The movie has a great message.  It is best summarized by Princess Poppy in this quote: “Happiness isn’t something you put inside, it’s already there. Sometimes you just need someone to help you find it.”  The message is a good reminder for all of us.

After I watched the movie, I read the reviews.  Most reviews I read gave it a 4 out of 5.   However, there was one reviewer who gave it an “F,” saying it was a complete failure.  I was amazed. Did they really watch the same movie I did?  Sure, it is not the best movie ever produced but it was an uplifting kid’s movie.  Did the critic watch a different version?

The differences between the reviews are not different versions of the movie but the difference in the watchers.  The critic gets paid for judging but to criticize to the level he did, shows what lies in his heart.  One of his comments was the movie was “too sweet”. I personally love “too sweet” movies. Other comments were just too absurd to quote here.  The critic’s criticisms were distortions derived from his perspective. His criticisms really do say more about him than they did about the movie.

When we condemn, we are saying more about ourselves than about what we are criticizing.  To quote Dale Carnegie, “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn–and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”

Next time you are about to criticize, why not stop and think about what your criticism is saying about you.  Is there a kinder way to handle the situation?   You really do get to know what is in a person’s heart when you aggregate their criticisms.   If hate and fear live in a heart, destructive criticism and negativity will run rampart in their words.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Everyone thinks they are kind, but how kind are you, really?  Live Kinder helps you consider how you can be kinder.  Order the book for yourself and others to help make our world a kinder place.