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Barb

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So far Barb has created 66 blog entries.

How Strong is Your Net?

I don’t know what it is, but this year the colors of the spring flowers just seem brighter.  The daffodils, the forsythia bushes, redbud and magnolia trees just seem more vibrant. This made me think about how some people are just vibrant and full of life, and Mary came immediately to mind.  I asked Mary what brings such joy to her life. She responded that she just loves people. She gets joy when she can do something to bring joy to someone else or to make another’s life easier.  Nothing makes her happier than seeing her own joy reflected in others’ faces.

Jesus told us to be fishers of men, and Mary believes that God desires for us to be connected with others.  She explained, “It is as if God has given us a big fishing net.  Each time we connect with another in His love, those two points on the net are connected, and the net becomes bigger and stronger.   When we disconnect with someone, whether intentionally or not, the net weakens in that one place.  By reconnecting, we can help add or restore strength to the net God has given us.”

Mary lives her life caring for others.  She attempts to exhibit God’s love to those she meets.  She also works to keep old relationships connected.  She recently returned from a 20-day road trip where she reconnected with friends and family she hadn’t seen in a while.   For some it had been only months, and for others it had been nearly 50 years!  She saw more than 30 people in all, and she even made a couple of new connections.  The purpose of Mary’s trips was to see how people in her net are doing, and she believes God leads her  to know which connections to make each time.  There are always surprises.  In this last trip, she said what she noticed most was increased humility in many of her connections.  Most were happy, some had suffered greatly, and generally all were content with their places in life.

Mary has worked at many jobs. She has been a stock broker, real estate broker, spa manager, accountant and now a gallery owner for the second time.  She explained these jobs all provided the opportunity of reaching out to others in one way or another.

Mary’s life has not always been easy.  She has lost not only her parents but both of her younger brothers.  She has survived breast cancer and financial devastation.  She says that every time her heart is broken, it becomes softer.  When tragedy takes away those we love, we have a choice to remain sad, or as Mary states, find more people to love.

“Surviving tough times can give us a deeper understanding of others. God’s grace equips us with His mercy so that we can pour out the compassion we all need from time to time.”

With gratitude in my heart, I am very honored to bestow this month’s “Caring Heart Award” to Mary.  She brings God’s grace to everything she does.  If you would like to meet Mary, drop in at the Branson West Art Gallery.   She is the owner and a very talented artist.  While at the gallery, look for Mary’s fish paintings; some of them take her over a year to paint; talk about dedication to detail.  Mary, thank you for all you do.

Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart award?

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

The Song in Your Head

Have you ever woken up with a song in your head? You know, a song that is in your mind and just won’t leave you. The song just continues to pop in and permeate your thoughts. This has happened to me many times but none so profound as when my son was fighting cancer. Those songs gave me hope and determination and love. I knew they were messages from God.  On the day after my son died, I heard the song, “Carry on Wayward Son,” by Kansas and from that day I know my son is close to me whenever I hear that song.

Recently, I have been hearing George Harrison’s, “Give Me Love,” in the  morning when I wake up. in his autobiographic book, “I, Me, Mine,” George Harrison described this song as a prayer and a personal statement between himself, the Lord, and whoever likes it.  If you don’t know the lyrics, here they are:

Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
Heart and soul
Om m m m m m m m m m m m m
M m m my lord
Please take hold of my hand, that
I might understand you
Won’t you please
Oh won’t you
Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
Heart and soul
Om m m m m m m m m m m m m m
M m m my lord
Please take hold of my hand, that
I might understand you

Songwriters: George Harrison
Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company

I have no doubt hearing the song in my head is an answer to a prayer.  Every time I hear this song it takes me to a place of peace and love and I feel closer to God.  So, pay attention to the song in your head, it may be an answer to your prayer or a prayer you need to sing.   Thank you, George Harrison for this beautiful song.

 

On a personal note, I would like to give a special thank you to all the people I received Christmas cards from that expressed how much this blog means to them. Those notes meant more than you will ever know.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Gifts of Warmth and Music

 

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.”  Steve Jobs

Congratulations to Rick and Reba, this month’s Caring Heart Award winners!  Rick and Reba, owners of Car Fi in Springfield, Missouri, were inspired by the book “Meaningful Work: A Quest To Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, And Feed Your Soul,” By Shawn Askinosie and Lawren Askinosie.  Shawn discusses the need of a business to look in your own neighborhood to find a need.  The Car Fi business is located on busy commercial street between two bus stops. People were walking and biking in front of their business in freezing weather without coats. They knew they had to do something. They did not hesitate, they did something immediately. Reba went to several thrift stores and bought some coats and placed them in their parking lot with the sign, “Need a coat? Take One. Have a coat? Leave one.”

 

 

Last winter over 1000 coats found new owners.  This winter even more coats were given. It is not unusual for 20 coats to find new recipients on cold days.  Due to so many coats, gloves, and hats being donated,  a  building was placed in front of the store called “ House of Coats.” It keeps things dry when weather is rainy and provides a storage area until the items  are put out on the street coat rack.

One of the recipients told Reba that he saw the street light shining in their parking lot one evening when it was snowing. He was on his way to a friend’s home to get warm.  He said the light looked like a beacon as he was biking the street. There was nothing he needed more in that moment than a warm coat.  There was no where else he could have gone in the middle of that cold night to get a coat.

Reba has a passion for helping the homeless and those in need and feels they should be treated without judgement. Her motto is, “Each of us is the same in God’s eyes.”  Her perspective is homelessness is just a temporary condition. Cards are placed in the pockets with an encouraging message. The card also has the Car-Fi address so they can be passed to a friend that may need a coat.

Another charity Rick and Reba are passionate about is Play It Forward SWMO. The mission is to ensure children in the SW Missouri are provided with the opportunity to discover his or her musical talents. Since 2015, over a hundred musical instruments have been given to low income children. They have done this by repairing used instruments that have been sitting in people’s basements and attics. To find out more see playitforwardswmo.org.

If you have used instruments, coast, scarves, gloves or much needed socks, you can drop them off at Car-Fi at 1600 S Glenstone Ave, Springfield, MO.  Reba gets satisfaction from giving to those in need, but she also gets satisfaction from seeing the happiness in the eyes of the donors as they give, knowing they are making a difference by giving a gift of warmth or music,

Two other businesses in the surrounding area have taken up the torch and started the same model in their neighborhood…. So the good news and blessings are growing.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart award?

Using Your Passion to Spread Cheer

When you combine your passion with spreading cheer, it becomes a win-win for all involved.  Judy Bell, an accomplished artist, wrote the following story about how she spreads cheer through her art.

 I have two dear friends that are both battling cancer, so I made prints of my recent art contest entry, and I framed them for each of them.  When I recently visited my friend in Reno, I gave her the print and asked her to hang it where she could see it every day.  I told her that the original is hanging in my reading room, where I go every day in the afternoon to say my prayers, and every day when I see it, I say a special prayer for both of my friends who are battling cancer.  It’s a daily reminder for me to remember them, and even for a brief moment it connects us, even though we are separated by many miles.  My friend named the painting “Smiley”, and every time we talk it brings happiness to both of our hearts knowing that just looking at the painting instantly connects us.

What a wonderful way to spread cheer! What is your passion and how can you use it to spread cheer in the coming year?

Everyone thinks they are kind, but how kind are you, really?  Live Kinder helps you consider how you can be kinder.  Order the book for yourself and others to help make our world a kinder place.

Dolly’s Bench

Our next door neighbors, Dolly and Jerry, have a bench in their front yard with the word, “Welcome” written on it.  It exemplifies who they are. Jerry and Dolly welcomed us from the minute we started building our house. They were our mentors, telling us how to get our garbage pick-up started, advising how to get a vegetation permit from the Army Corps of Engineers, explaining when people from Missouri talk about Johnny Morris they mean the owner of Bass Pro not the football player, and most importantly, explaining the neighborhood history. It is with a heavy heart I’m writing this post, because our sweet loving neighbor, Dolly, passed away a little over a week ago.

Dolly and Jerry welcomed us with open arms to the neighborhood, but it was because of the bench I was able to know Dolly. Whenever Joel saw Dolly on the bench, he would tell me, and I would drop everything and go sit with Dolly. On the bench, we would talk about everything or just relax and enjoy the weather for a few minutes or an hour, whatever our schedules would allow.  We would sit and watch her grandsons ride their bikes.  We would watch my granddaughters get proficient on their rollerblades.  My favorite time was watching Ally preform impromptu concerts with Violet interpreting through dance.  What joy those concerts brought both of us.  I’m not sure they would have happened, if not for the bench and the captive audience it holds.

Dolly was strong in both love and conviction.  We bonded through sharing the wisdom and love found in grandmothers’ hearts.  When we visited with Dolly in the hospital she thanked us for being so good to her, but she had it wrong; we are the grateful one.  Thank you, Dolly, for welcoming us.  We will never forget your kindness.  I have been blessed with great next door neighbors but Dolly is the one I miss the most.

I will miss those talks on the bench, but I now choose to visualize her in God’s kitchen making her famous chocolate chip cookies for all the children in heaven.  Dolly, we love you and miss you.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Never Underestimate What Kindness Can Do

…Even in a Crystal Mine…

One day that is difficult is the anniversary of my son’s death.  I try not to let my son’s death define who I am but he will always live in my heart. Some year’s I have spent the time with my daughter-in-law and my son’s two children, my grandchildren, remembering together our happy memories. Some years I spend it with my daughter and her family by going to one of my son’s favorite places, the Morton Arboretum.  If you ever do go to the Morton Arboretum, you will find my son’s memorial brick, close to my dear friend’s son’s memorial brick.  Both of our son’s died from cancer at a too early age.

No matter whom I am with, I need to be in nature on November 8th, to honor how Brian has bought so many to appreciate the nature of our beautiful country.  Two years ago we decided to spend a day at Wegner’s Crystal Mine in Mt Ida, Arkansas.  It was a wonderful choice.  They take you into a forest where you dig for crystals.  We went on an open air truck with two couples.  As we were going to the crystal field, I was thinking about Brian.  I was thinking how he would have loved doing this with us.

I looked at the two couples that just happen to be going with us.  Both of the men looked like my Brian with their beards, wearing their Carhartts. Tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help feeling how unfair it was that I was with these strangers, instead of spending the time with my son, who would have loved doing this.  I buried my head in my husband’s shoulder so no one would see.  I didn’t want to ruin the day for me or anyone.

Both of the other couples had been there numerous times and ran off to their favorite places.  We had no clue what to do.  Bill, the driver, showed us some things to look for to help us.  I actually had fun sitting in the red clay shoveling for crystals.

When it was almost time to leave, one of the couple came over and showed us a beautiful rock with crystals on it and asked if we wanted it.  Their buckets were full and they thought we would appreciate having it because our buckets were pretty empty in comparison. They share their area so we could find even more before our time was up. I asked him if I could hug him for his kindness and told him he looked like my son.  We embraced and for a moment I felt I had Brian’s arms around me.  He never knew what that hug meant or what I was going through that day, but I will never forget him with his necklace that looked just like Brian’s.

Then Bill came back for us and he told me that a pile of crystals were for me, he had been hunting for crystals for us.  I was so appreciative of his kindness that day.  He was so sweet and considerate; it helped to restore my faith in mankind.   These two very kind gestures were simple to give but were monumental to the receiver…me.   Any other day, they may not have been needed, but that day I needed to see the love of others.

Never, ever, underestimate what kindness can do.  You never know what the other person is going through.   A little kindness can take away tears. They did for me that day.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Laughter is the Best Medicine

“When you awaken love and laughter in your life, your mind lets go of fear and anxiety, and your happy spirit becomes the healing balm that transforms every aspect of your human experience.”   Jesse Dylan

I had a good day with my neighbor, Marsha. We had time to connect.  She said it was like having a girl’s day shopping, having this time together.  However, we weren’t shopping; we spent the day at the outpatient oncology department while she received her chemo treatment.   For me it is important to support those who have cancer in order to pay forward all those that supported my family when my son died from cancer.  I’m writing this post in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

I am still in awe of Marsha and her positive attitude.  She made a day most of us would dread into a joyful experience.   Even though she slept very little the night before and even though it was a dreary rainy day, Marsha brought the sunshine into every room she entered.  She treated the nurses as the special people they are.  I observe four techniques she used to take the dread of chemo and changed it to a positive even joyful experience.

Gratitude – Marsha looks at her year of cancer treatments with a grateful heart.  She knows her treatment will make her stronger and gives her a 97% chance of never getting cancer again.  That’s a lot better odds than the man in the waiting room whose prognosis was only living another year.   She knows she is blessed, as it could be so much worse.

Attitude – It’s not that you never cry, the trick is not to get stuck there. Marsha admits she has had pity parties but she has changed her attitude.  She wants to live each day as the gift it is. You have little control what happens to you but you can change your attitude about it.  I asked Marsha, how she stayed so positive.  She said if she didn’t, she would cry.  It’s a strategy and a decision.

Asking for help – She knows that getting help from others helps her on this journey.  It was sad to see the 80ish lady in the waiting room all by herself.  For the people Marsha has helped, she is open now to reap what she has sowed.

Joy – she finds her joy from the inside.  She is determined to share the joy of the Lord to all she meets.  I saw her brighten the day of every nurse she met.

The next time I’m feeling sorry for myself and feel life is not fair, I will remember this day with a grateful heart.  If Marsha and I can smile and laugh in the oncology department, then there is really no excuse not to shine every day.  Thanks, Marsha for being such an inspiration to all of us.

To Learn more about the benefits of laughter. Click here.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Bonniebrook Inspiration

“Be good to people, you will be remembered more for your kindness than any level of success you can obtain.”  Mandy Hale

Sometimes you have to look back to see how far we have come.  This was evident on my recent tour of Bonniebrook, Rose O’Neill’s Taney County home. Rose O’Neill (1874-1944) is best known for her magazine illustrations, especially her Kewpie dolls.  Kewpie characters made their debut in 1909 in the Ladies’ Home Journal, 109 years ago.

Rose O’Neill became one of the highest paid magazine illustrators of her time, quite an accomplishment because women were thought to be inferior artist to men.  Initially, Rose did not include her first name in her signature as not to identify her as a woman.  Her work stood on its own and Rose became a sought after magazine illustrator and usually the only woman on the magazine’s staff. It’s difficult to imagine now but many of the New York office buildings only had restrooms for males.  During that era women could be jailed for voting and weren’t allowed to run for office.  Society norms had women in tight corsets, so tight that women would faint.  Sandals and painted toenails were taboo.  Rose used her considerable fame and influence to campaign for women’s right to vote by giving speeches and creating illustrations for the suffragist cause.

Rose’s personal philosophy documented in her autobiography was “Do good deeds in a funny way. The world needs to laugh or at least smile more than it does.”  Good advice then and pertinent today. This was the basis of her Kewpie cartoons.  The Kewpies were there to help and teach children and adults better ways to live.  Common themes in Rose’s work included supporting racial equality and advocating for the poor; no surprise since Rose grew-up poverty stricken.

Rose led a kind life.   She supported her family for years. She helped many artists and writers and opened her home to them sometimes for years.  She paid for everyone in the community to be immunized against smallpox.  She generously gave money to her readers when they wrote to her asking for money.  Her generosity left her destitute in her final years but did not crush her loving spirit.

If you have ever thought that one person can’t make a difference take a tour of Bonniebrook with Susan Scott.   Rose’s O’Neill’s life will come to life and hopefully Bonniebrook will inspire you as much as it inspired Rose O’Neill.   We all can do something to further human rights and we all can be more generous and kind. What can you do to be ahead of our time?  Thank you to all the volunteers at Bonniebrook that keep Rose’s O’Neill’s life and memories of her kind spirit alive.   To find out more, visit the Bonniebrook Facebook page:  Click here  or webpage: Click here.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Servant’s Heart

No one is more cherished in this world than someone that lightens the burden of another.   Joseph Addison

 

Congratulations to this month’s Caring Heart Award winner, Janet Weber.   The Caring Heart Award is given to ordinary people that demonstrate every day kindness.

Life has not always been easy for Janet.  Her first marriage was difficult due to her husband’s alcoholic abuse which necessitated a divorce. Janet had to find a way to support herself and her two children ages two and four.  She moved in with her parents, learned to drive and found a job.  Later she discovered the love of her life and married him.  Unfortunately, seven months later he had a massive heart attack and died. She moved back with her parents and uncle and stayed with them until her two children finished college. Not long after, her mother passed away leaving Janet to care for her elderly father and uncle for many years, while working full time and welcoming her first grandchildren into their family.   As her aunts and uncles aged, Janet was there to drive them to appointments cemetery visits, and assist with business issues.  She was always available to help family and friends. You really can’t control what life throws at you but you can control how you react to it. As Janet’s daughter, Dawn, states, “Janet is strong and resilient.”

As her sister-in-law, Elaine, states, “Janet through it all continued to be the best Aunt to my sons and a supportive friend to me through my troubled times.  Janet has been so kind to me and my family and a long list of others throughout her life. To list all she has done for us would make a book.  As I suffered through an illness, she sat in my hospital room with another dear friend night and day, every day for a month.  Janet never complains, she only gives help and love.  Janet acts with love and compassion.”

As the Bible states; “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.”  We can look at family requests as obligations or as opportunities to reflect and spread God’s Love. Kristina, who is married to Janet’s grandson, states that she will drop everything to do a kind deed for someone else to make their life a little easier, no matter how big or small.  Janet truly has a servant’s heart.

Janet has four grandchildren.  She has watched, participated and loved them through their growing years and college.  I love that as each child graduated and entered the full time working world, she would support them the first year out of school by doing their laundry and ironing for them.  How sweet is life when Grandma takes that one grown up chore off your plate while you learn a job.  What a wonderful way for her to build a connection with each grandchild.

The effort we put in to bring happiness to others is truly the beginning of a happier and content life for us.  To a Servant Heart, nothing brings more joy than helping others. Kristina also described Janet as, “Fun-loving – Jan loves to laugh, especially with her grandchildren who make her laugh the most”.  It is the everyday moments that bring Janet joy.

Irene, Jan’s friend, was asked to describe Janet in two words.  Her answer was, “My two words would be ‘valuable’ because I can’t imagine her not being my friend, and ‘kind-hearted’ because that is who she is. I feel it is an honor being in her life.”

What two words would your family and friends use to describe you?

 

Thanks to Elaine for nominating her sister-in-law for a Caring Heart Award.   If you know someone that deserves to be recognize for their everyday kindness. Please drop us an e-mail.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Are People That Read More Compassionate?

Several recent studies have shown readers of fiction books are more compassionate than those who read nonfiction or don’t read. Social scientists have found reading literary fiction increases the capacity of the reader to identify with the the characters of the book, this capacity is known as empathy.

Autobiographies were not included in the study, but they have the same effect on me.  I recently read, “A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier” be Ishmael Beah.  The back cover states, “At the age of twelve, Ishmael Beah fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found he was capable of truly terrible acts.  At sixteen, he was removed from fighting by UNICEF, and through the help of the staff at his rehabilitation center, he learned to how to forgive himself, to regain his humanity, and finally to heal.”

“A Long Way Gone,” was a book selection for our book club.  I was not looking forward to reading about the horror of the Sierra Leone Civil War (1991-2002).   Before I read this book, all I remembered about the Sierra Leone war was two minute blurbs on the evening news.  I’m grateful I read this book to understand the nature and the impact of these violent African conflicts. It made me think of the horror of Beah’s life and the contrast of his reality to the daily life of my children born at the same time.  A central message of “A Long Way Gone” is that war, hatred, and violence consume everything in a society, especially the children.  According to the United Nations, there are over 300,000 child soldiers around the world.

Beah not only survived his past but importantly kept his humanity.  Thank goodness for UNICEF that not only rescued Beah but also rehabilitated him. (Who knew the dimes and nickels we collected when trick and treating for UNICEF did so much good.)  They helped him to forgive himself and to find himself.  His passion for bringing a greater understanding to the experiences of child soldiers has since led Beah to his current role as a U.N. ambassador for children affected by war.

After reading this book, I knew I had to do something to help the children. I was totally overwhelmed of what a difference UNCIF made in Beah’s life. I went to the UNICEF page.    I found two easy ways to help:

(1) They have an extensive gift store with 10,000 unique items from around the world.   If you want to save the world as you shop, click here.

(2)  Another option is to give an inspired gift in the name of someone you love. Click here.  Each of my grandchildren will have a gift dedicated to them for their birthday.  For Violet, my basketball lover, six basketballs will be given, dedicated in her name for her October birthday. I’m so grateful for the joy of grandchildren and the fact that they live in loving environments.  I’m hoping the conversation with the soon to be six year old will arise awareness of conditions beyond her home.

To watch a YouTube interview with Ishmael Beah on being a child soldier, click here.

“I was sad to leave, but I was also pleased to have met people outside of Sierra Leone. Because if I was to get killed upon my return, I knew that a memory of my existence was alive somewhere in the world.”
― Ishmael Beah, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!