Toggle SlidingBar Area
FacebookTwitterPinterest

Kindness

Using Your Passion to Spread Cheer

When you combine your passion with spreading cheer, it becomes a win-win for all involved.  Judy Bell, an accomplished artist, wrote the following story about how she spreads cheer through her art.

 I have two dear friends that are both battling cancer, so I made prints of my recent art contest entry, and I framed them for each of them.  When I recently visited my friend in Reno, I gave her the print and asked her to hang it where she could see it every day.  I told her that the original is hanging in my reading room, where I go every day in the afternoon to say my prayers, and every day when I see it, I say a special prayer for both of my friends who are battling cancer.  It’s a daily reminder for me to remember them, and even for a brief moment it connects us, even though we are separated by many miles.  My friend named the painting “Smiley”, and every time we talk it brings happiness to both of our hearts knowing that just looking at the painting instantly connects us.

What a wonderful way to spread cheer! What is your passion and how can you use it to spread cheer in the coming year?

Everyone thinks they are kind, but how kind are you, really?  Live Kinder helps you consider how you can be kinder.  Order the book for yourself and others to help make our world a kinder place.

Dolly’s Bench

Our next door neighbors, Dolly and Jerry, have a bench in their front yard with the word, “Welcome” written on it.  It exemplifies who they are. Jerry and Dolly welcomed us from the minute we started building our house. They were our mentors, telling us how to get our garbage pick-up started, advising how to get a vegetation permit from the Army Corps of Engineers, explaining when people from Missouri talk about Johnny Morris they mean the owner of Bass Pro not the football player, and most importantly, explaining the neighborhood history. It is with a heavy heart I’m writing this post, because our sweet loving neighbor, Dolly, passed away a little over a week ago.

Dolly and Jerry welcomed us with open arms to the neighborhood, but it was because of the bench I was able to know Dolly. Whenever Joel saw Dolly on the bench, he would tell me, and I would drop everything and go sit with Dolly. On the bench, we would talk about everything or just relax and enjoy the weather for a few minutes or an hour, whatever our schedules would allow.  We would sit and watch her grandsons ride their bikes.  We would watch my granddaughters get proficient on their rollerblades.  My favorite time was watching Ally preform impromptu concerts with Violet interpreting through dance.  What joy those concerts brought both of us.  I’m not sure they would have happened, if not for the bench and the captive audience it holds.

Dolly was strong in both love and conviction.  We bonded through sharing the wisdom and love found in grandmothers’ hearts.  When we visited with Dolly in the hospital she thanked us for being so good to her, but she had it wrong; we are the grateful one.  Thank you, Dolly, for welcoming us.  We will never forget your kindness.  I have been blessed with great next door neighbors but Dolly is the one I miss the most.

I will miss those talks on the bench, but I now choose to visualize her in God’s kitchen making her famous chocolate chip cookies for all the children in heaven.  Dolly, we love you and miss you.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Never Underestimate What Kindness Can Do

…Even in a Crystal Mine…

One day that is difficult is the anniversary of my son’s death.  I try not to let my son’s death define who I am but he will always live in my heart. Some year’s I have spent the time with my daughter-in-law and my son’s two children, my grandchildren, remembering together our happy memories. Some years I spend it with my daughter and her family by going to one of my son’s favorite places, the Morton Arboretum.  If you ever do go to the Morton Arboretum, you will find my son’s memorial brick, close to my dear friend’s son’s memorial brick.  Both of our son’s died from cancer at a too early age.

No matter whom I am with, I need to be in nature on November 8th, to honor how Brian has bought so many to appreciate the nature of our beautiful country.  Two years ago we decided to spend a day at Wegner’s Crystal Mine in Mt Ida, Arkansas.  It was a wonderful choice.  They take you into a forest where you dig for crystals.  We went on an open air truck with two couples.  As we were going to the crystal field, I was thinking about Brian.  I was thinking how he would have loved doing this with us.

I looked at the two couples that just happen to be going with us.  Both of the men looked like my Brian with their beards, wearing their Carhartts. Tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t help feeling how unfair it was that I was with these strangers, instead of spending the time with my son, who would have loved doing this.  I buried my head in my husband’s shoulder so no one would see.  I didn’t want to ruin the day for me or anyone.

Both of the other couples had been there numerous times and ran off to their favorite places.  We had no clue what to do.  Bill, the driver, showed us some things to look for to help us.  I actually had fun sitting in the red clay shoveling for crystals.

When it was almost time to leave, one of the couple came over and showed us a beautiful rock with crystals on it and asked if we wanted it.  Their buckets were full and they thought we would appreciate having it because our buckets were pretty empty in comparison. They share their area so we could find even more before our time was up. I asked him if I could hug him for his kindness and told him he looked like my son.  We embraced and for a moment I felt I had Brian’s arms around me.  He never knew what that hug meant or what I was going through that day, but I will never forget him with his necklace that looked just like Brian’s.

Then Bill came back for us and he told me that a pile of crystals were for me, he had been hunting for crystals for us.  I was so appreciative of his kindness that day.  He was so sweet and considerate; it helped to restore my faith in mankind.   These two very kind gestures were simple to give but were monumental to the receiver…me.   Any other day, they may not have been needed, but that day I needed to see the love of others.

Never, ever, underestimate what kindness can do.  You never know what the other person is going through.   A little kindness can take away tears. They did for me that day.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Laughter is the Best Medicine

“When you awaken love and laughter in your life, your mind lets go of fear and anxiety, and your happy spirit becomes the healing balm that transforms every aspect of your human experience.”   Jesse Dylan

I had a good day with my neighbor, Marsha. We had time to connect.  She said it was like having a girl’s day shopping, having this time together.  However, we weren’t shopping; we spent the day at the outpatient oncology department while she received her chemo treatment.   For me it is important to support those who have cancer in order to pay forward all those that supported my family when my son died from cancer.  I’m writing this post in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month.

I am still in awe of Marsha and her positive attitude.  She made a day most of us would dread into a joyful experience.   Even though she slept very little the night before and even though it was a dreary rainy day, Marsha brought the sunshine into every room she entered.  She treated the nurses as the special people they are.  I observe four techniques she used to take the dread of chemo and changed it to a positive even joyful experience.

Gratitude – Marsha looks at her year of cancer treatments with a grateful heart.  She knows her treatment will make her stronger and gives her a 97% chance of never getting cancer again.  That’s a lot better odds than the man in the waiting room whose prognosis was only living another year.   She knows she is blessed, as it could be so much worse.

Attitude – It’s not that you never cry, the trick is not to get stuck there. Marsha admits she has had pity parties but she has changed her attitude.  She wants to live each day as the gift it is. You have little control what happens to you but you can change your attitude about it.  I asked Marsha, how she stayed so positive.  She said if she didn’t, she would cry.  It’s a strategy and a decision.

Asking for help – She knows that getting help from others helps her on this journey.  It was sad to see the 80ish lady in the waiting room all by herself.  For the people Marsha has helped, she is open now to reap what she has sowed.

Joy – she finds her joy from the inside.  She is determined to share the joy of the Lord to all she meets.  I saw her brighten the day of every nurse she met.

The next time I’m feeling sorry for myself and feel life is not fair, I will remember this day with a grateful heart.  If Marsha and I can smile and laugh in the oncology department, then there is really no excuse not to shine every day.  Thanks, Marsha for being such an inspiration to all of us.

To Learn more about the benefits of laughter. Click here.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Bonniebrook Inspiration

“Be good to people, you will be remembered more for your kindness than any level of success you can obtain.”  Mandy Hale

Sometimes you have to look back to see how far we have come.  This was evident on my recent tour of Bonniebrook, Rose O’Neill’s Taney County home. Rose O’Neill (1874-1944) is best known for her magazine illustrations, especially her Kewpie dolls.  Kewpie characters made their debut in 1909 in the Ladies’ Home Journal, 109 years ago.

Rose O’Neill became one of the highest paid magazine illustrators of her time, quite an accomplishment because women were thought to be inferior artist to men.  Initially, Rose did not include her first name in her signature as not to identify her as a woman.  Her work stood on its own and Rose became a sought after magazine illustrator and usually the only woman on the magazine’s staff. It’s difficult to imagine now but many of the New York office buildings only had restrooms for males.  During that era women could be jailed for voting and weren’t allowed to run for office.  Society norms had women in tight corsets, so tight that women would faint.  Sandals and painted toenails were taboo.  Rose used her considerable fame and influence to campaign for women’s right to vote by giving speeches and creating illustrations for the suffragist cause.

Rose’s personal philosophy documented in her autobiography was “Do good deeds in a funny way. The world needs to laugh or at least smile more than it does.”  Good advice then and pertinent today. This was the basis of her Kewpie cartoons.  The Kewpies were there to help and teach children and adults better ways to live.  Common themes in Rose’s work included supporting racial equality and advocating for the poor; no surprise since Rose grew-up poverty stricken.

Rose led a kind life.   She supported her family for years. She helped many artists and writers and opened her home to them sometimes for years.  She paid for everyone in the community to be immunized against smallpox.  She generously gave money to her readers when they wrote to her asking for money.  Her generosity left her destitute in her final years but did not crush her loving spirit.

If you have ever thought that one person can’t make a difference take a tour of Bonniebrook with Susan Scott.   Rose’s O’Neill’s life will come to life and hopefully Bonniebrook will inspire you as much as it inspired Rose O’Neill.   We all can do something to further human rights and we all can be more generous and kind. What can you do to be ahead of our time?  Thank you to all the volunteers at Bonniebrook that keep Rose’s O’Neill’s life and memories of her kind spirit alive.   To find out more, visit the Bonniebrook Facebook page:  Click here  or webpage: Click here.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Are People That Read More Compassionate?

Several recent studies have shown readers of fiction books are more compassionate than those who read nonfiction or don’t read. Social scientists have found reading literary fiction increases the capacity of the reader to identify with the the characters of the book, this capacity is known as empathy.

Autobiographies were not included in the study, but they have the same effect on me.  I recently read, “A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier” be Ishmael Beah.  The back cover states, “At the age of twelve, Ishmael Beah fled attacking rebels in Sierra Leone and wandered a land rendered unrecognizable by violence. By thirteen, he’d been picked up by the government army and Beah, at heart a gentle boy, found he was capable of truly terrible acts.  At sixteen, he was removed from fighting by UNICEF, and through the help of the staff at his rehabilitation center, he learned to how to forgive himself, to regain his humanity, and finally to heal.”

“A Long Way Gone,” was a book selection for our book club.  I was not looking forward to reading about the horror of the Sierra Leone Civil War (1991-2002).   Before I read this book, all I remembered about the Sierra Leone war was two minute blurbs on the evening news.  I’m grateful I read this book to understand the nature and the impact of these violent African conflicts. It made me think of the horror of Beah’s life and the contrast of his reality to the daily life of my children born at the same time.  A central message of “A Long Way Gone” is that war, hatred, and violence consume everything in a society, especially the children.  According to the United Nations, there are over 300,000 child soldiers around the world.

Beah not only survived his past but importantly kept his humanity.  Thank goodness for UNICEF that not only rescued Beah but also rehabilitated him. (Who knew the dimes and nickels we collected when trick and treating for UNICEF did so much good.)  They helped him to forgive himself and to find himself.  His passion for bringing a greater understanding to the experiences of child soldiers has since led Beah to his current role as a U.N. ambassador for children affected by war.

After reading this book, I knew I had to do something to help the children. I was totally overwhelmed of what a difference UNCIF made in Beah’s life. I went to the UNICEF page.    I found two easy ways to help:

(1) They have an extensive gift store with 10,000 unique items from around the world.   If you want to save the world as you shop, click here.

(2)  Another option is to give an inspired gift in the name of someone you love. Click here.  Each of my grandchildren will have a gift dedicated to them for their birthday.  For Violet, my basketball lover, six basketballs will be given, dedicated in her name for her October birthday. I’m so grateful for the joy of grandchildren and the fact that they live in loving environments.  I’m hoping the conversation with the soon to be six year old will arise awareness of conditions beyond her home.

To watch a YouTube interview with Ishmael Beah on being a child soldier, click here.

“I was sad to leave, but I was also pleased to have met people outside of Sierra Leone. Because if I was to get killed upon my return, I knew that a memory of my existence was alive somewhere in the world.”
― Ishmael Beah, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Memorial Day – Lest We Forget

Approximately 620,000 soldiers lost their lives during the Civil War. It was a catastrophic loss of life. Decoration Day was instituted to decorate the Civil War graves with flags and May flowers.  Decoration Day was later changed to Memorial Day to remember the brave soldiers that gave their life instead of emphasizing their graves.  After World War I, Memorial Day was expanded to include all American fallen heroes.

Many Americans equate Memorial Day with the start of the summer season with picnics, parties, time off work, swimming and other leisure activities.  The devastation and bravery of war is rarely the emphasis of this three day weekend. One of the many ways to honor our war heroes, is to visit a preserved battlefield, I would suggest spending time walking in the footsteps of these historic heroes to feel the sacred and sober energy that resides in the blood stained grounds.

I recently visited the Wilson’s Creek Battlefield, operated by the National Park Service. It was the location of the second battle of the Civil War and the first fought west of the Mississippi River. It’s here that 537 Union and Confederate soldiers killed each other and thousands more were wounded in August 1861. Both sides hoped the fight would determine Missouri’s course — slave state or free. The Confederates won the battle but did not achieve its major objective of taking over Missouri, which very likely would have led to its secession from the Union. Most people in Missouri wanted to stay neutral but there were many, including the governor, who wanted to secede.

On the battlefield is the preserved Ray house. I can’t imagine how scared the Ray family must have been when over 10,000 Southern soldiers descended on their farm. All their fields, crops and animals were confiscated with no supplies for the family to make it through the next winter.

 

Ray House

On the morning of August 10th, some of the Ray children were outside tending to their horses when a Confederate soldier told them to take shelter because there was going to be a fight. All of the Ray family including their slave Rhoda and her four children took shelter in the cellar where they stayed for the entire six-hour battle. John Ray sat on the front porch throughout the battle and observed the action in his cornfield and the continuing action on what became known as Bloody Hill.

Depiction of General Lyon’s death

Near Bloody Hill, Union General Nathaniel Lyon caught a musket ball through the heart and was killed. He was the first Union general to die in the Civil War.  General Lyon had a premonition that he was going to die in battle that day. He told his chief of staff, “I am a believer in presentiments, and I have a feeling that I can’t get rid of that I shall not survive this battle.” He later added, “I will gladly give my life for a victory.”  A Confederate soldier said General Lyon was one of the bravest soldiers he ever met.  His funeral was attended by approximately 15,000 people, his death touch those near and far.  We should never forget our heroes but we should be careful not to glamorize war.

I agree with this presidential quote, “Peace is the real and right memorial for those who have died in war.”  I pray we can find ways to resolve conflicts without killing each other and live in a harmonic world that honors the Sixth Commandment, “Thou shall not kill.”

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Anger Is Contagious

Beware anger is contagious.  Don’t allow others anger to become yours.

                                              Prabakaran Thirumalai

On our recent airplane trip to Chicago, we were getting settled into our seats in row 12 when a woman went into row 11 and turned to look at us and shouted in our faces, “I’m seating in row 11,” which by the way was the row she was standing in at that moment.  She added, “You are in my seat!”  I looked at Joel and went to get up to show her the row numbers.  Before I could do that the calm gentlemen in row 10 stated she was in the right row, row 11.   She quickly took her seat without acknowledging she had made an error.

I was seating there thinking how wrong she was to yell at us and did she not have the decency to acknowledge she was wrong.  Then I realized that her anger had seeped into my heart and head.  Anger is truly contagious; so I prayed to remove the anger from me and to get back to my place of peace and love, for I knew it was more important to live in peace than to be right.  I was justified to tell that story over and over again but what would that do for me but confirm I was right to complain and every time I told the story the anger would seep back into my heart.

This is a very simplistic example but it made me understand how anger can run rampart from person to person.  As I look back at this scenario, I realize how much anger that woman was holding inside of her for her to scream at us.  It was her cry for love.   When people live with anger in their heart it comes screaming out, they are the ones that need kindness the most.   Next time I get falsely accused I hope I can put the anger I caught from them aside to buy them a snack box and break the chain reaction of hate that anger causes. I’ve come to learn that true forgiveness is not getting upset in the first place.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

End of Life Kindness 

“Be kind…the moments I regret the most are the ones I could have been kinder.”  Barbara Bush

 

With the passing of Barbara Bush, many of her quotes have hit social media.  It seems to me, that being in the public eye seemed to bring out the best of Barbara Bush. Reading these quotes have restored some of my faith in womankind.  She was a true beacon of light. With the passing from life to death comes wisdom.  We can all learn from those that were born before us. Today, I welcome our guest blogger, Cindy Edge to discuss her insights.

“I have had the privilege as a professional nurse to work with oncology (cancer) and hospice patients.  They often have insights and perspectives about life and death that have been beacons for my own life.  As these patients and their family and friends deal with loss and grief, the patient’s themselves become the teachers.  I have intently listened to their stories, their hopes, dreams and regrets. In listening to their stories, I have learned not to fear death.  But more importantly, these rare insights have taught me how to live.  I know with certainty that no small act of kindness is wasted, and can in fact make a huge difference.  I would encourage you to look for opportunities to do small random acts of kindness in everyday life.  The impact may be life-changing.”  

Cindy Edge

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook! 

Sympathetic Strings and Hugs

We enjoyed a beautiful 85 degree day at Silver Dollar City’s Festival of Wonder this week. We were totally amazed by the earth harp. The harp strings were over 75 feet long stretched the full length of the auditorium above our heads.  When the music played it was like being inside a giant cello, a very different perspective for experiencing  the beautiful music of William Close & The Earth Harp Collective. William Close was a finalist of the 2012 season of America’s Got Talent and a creative genius that has invented over 100 musical instruments, four of which he played during the performance, including the star of the show, the earth harp.  When he plays the earth harp he wears gloves covered in violin resin.  He runs his hands along the strings until they vibrate.  It was a glorious performance.

William Close explained that he would not play the strings on the outer edges because those were sympathetic strings.  Sympathetic strings reinforce and prolong the sound by reflecting the sound of the played strings through synchronous vibration.  In other words, non-played strings vibrate in sympathy to other strings being played.  Isn’t that what kindness is; people reacting in sympathy to others and therefore, raising the vibration of love.  When you do a kind act the act is reflected and further enhances all the people affected by the act.  I’m in gratitude to all the people on the kindness journey.  Together we can reinforce and further vibrate the effects of a kind act.

I was fortunate to sit next to a handicapped teen boy who was unable to express his words in comprehensible English. He seemed to enjoy the concert.  During the concert he would grab my hand to hold it. I told his dismayed mom It was ok. At the end of the concert he went and hugged my husband with his worried mom looking on.  I told him I needed a hug, too.  I did that so his anxious mom would relax and enjoy that special moment where we accepted her son’s unconventional ways. She explained he is such a loving child. In that moment I knew what living kinder is all about, loving and hugging more and being each other’s sympathetic string.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for almost weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!