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Caring Hearts

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    How Generous Are You?

    Caring Hearts

How Generous Are You?

Barb 2018-11-07T23:11:22-05:00

When you hear the word “generous,” what comes to mind? Many people think of the millionaire benefactor giving millions for a new wing at the hospital. When I hear such stories, I think how wonderful it is that the benefactor has learned that giving money is a source of happiness as well as a source of helpfulness to the community. The problem with this “millionaire-generous-thinking” paradigm is that it works for only one percent of the population.  Most of us will never be in a position to give millions away.  We may think, “If we had extra millions to give away, we would do the same.”

However, you don’t need millions to be a generous person.  You can be retired on a fixed budget, like my friend Paulette, who is one of the most generous people I know.  She always thinks about the needs of others and how she can give of herself to help, be it with her time, her heart, or her funds.  Her brain is wired for compassion.  

Paulette is generous with her time. She drove an hour in Friday night traffic for two years to give free painting lessons to a teenager from a broken home.  The painting lessons were a vehicle to help the teenager get over her shyness.  The painting gave her a voice, but Paulette was also a sympathetic outlet for her to become more.  It was first time the teenager had gotten praise of any kind. Paulette has compassion not only for kids but for the elderly too. I so appreciate her time in visiting with my mom.

Paulette gives her heart freely.  When she sees a homeless person, she would be the one giving them a hug, as well as, money or food.

Paulette also receives great happiness from giving material things to her friends, family and strangers. She spends more on others than herself. She always thinks of objects as a way of bringing happiness to others.  For example, she gave my daughter a beautiful dollhouse Paulette’s father made because she knew my two granddaughters would cherish it more than her three grandsons.

I’ll never forget when she picked up acorns from my yard so her squirrels in her “oakless” neighborhood could have some acorns. She always find ways to give to those unfortunate, even when they are only squirrels.

Being generous is about giving of your time, your heart, and resources to your family, friends, and strangers, with no expectations.  Paulette gets great satisfaction from giving, even when there may not be any hint of gratitude given in return; now that is a generous person.

Next time you are about to judge someone, stop and think like Paulette, “What can I do to make the situation better?”  Paulette always lives her truth: to live with compassion, to give freely with her heart, with her time and with her resources.  You don’t need millions to be generous, you just need compassion for others.  Paulette is this week’s Caring Heart award winner.

Quote for the day… 

“Money is but one venue for generosity. Kindness is an even more valuable currency.”

— Alan Cohen

Discussion question:  What definition of “generous” do you live by?  What can you do today to be generous?

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  I love hearing your kindness stories.  Please sign-up for a weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!

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    Do You Have Time to Be Kind?

    Caring Hearts

Do You Have Time to Be Kind?

Barb 2018-11-07T23:28:31-05:00

My Aunt Carolyn is very special to me. She endeared my heart when she was engaged to my uncle.  I was six, when she introduced me to my first movie. It was 1957, and the movie was the third release of Bambi.  My parents rarely went to the movies, so this was an extra special treat. I was also a flower girl in their wedding, another special time I will always cherish. I just loved that Carolyn became part of the family.  She dressed so fashionable and was also so kind to me.

My Aunt and Uncle took over my grandpa’s farm of 160 acres, a large herd of registered Guernsey dairy cows, and thriving farm market known for their quality produce, in particular, sweet corn and apples.  My aunt seems to have unlimited energy. She helped with the milking of the cows twice every day. Cows need to be milked every 12 hours, so there was no taking off when you were sick or tired. She cleaned her large farm house, cooked three meals a day, helped with the field work, especially their large produce garden that supplied their roadside stand and the food for their use, and she loved working in her flower garden. She worked the roadside stand from sweet corn season to pumpkin time.  They later constructed a building to house the farm market which was open from March through December.  Being a farmer’s wife is a never-ending job.

She also raised four children and found time to read them stories before their naps.  I remember when she was in labor with her fourth child, she refused to go to the hospital until she finished mowing their large yard and washing the kitchen floor.

Carolyn works so hard, it makes me tired just thinking about it, but I never once heard my Aunt complain about not having time. She always talked and still talks today about her life with such passion and satisfaction.

So, if there is anyone that does not have time to be kind, it would be my Aunt Carolyn.  Quite to the contrary, my Aunt Carolyn is one of the kindest people I know.  She has such a giving heart, three sizes too big.  Kindness is part of who she is; she is always using her talents for kindness.

I love random acts of kindness, but I believe it is a lot harder to incorporate kindness in everyday living.  When you live with kindness in your heart every day, you can change the world you live within.  How do you do this?  You do this by using the talent you were given and sewing those talents to your passions.  This is what I have learned from my Aunt Carolyn.  She has many talents, but there are four that are pivotal to her spreading kindness.  Overall, she spreads kindness by nourishing others.

One of Carolyn’s favorite ways to show love is through cooking, baking and canning.  From her zucchini breads, pecan pies or a jar of pickles; she loves to bake or can, not just for herself, but to give to others including her nieces and nephews, grandchildren, friends, neighbors and even the postman.   It is her way of nourishing people not just with food, but food wrapped in love.

Carolyn loves flowers, gardening, and making things grow.  But for her, flowers needed to be shared with others to make their days happier.  She decorated the church week after week, season after season, year after year coming up with new and creative idea that displayed a small sampling of God’s beauty for others to enjoy.  I love looking at her scrapbook of how she decorated her church for Christmas for over fifty years.

Carolyn has a passion for educating children about agriculture. Carolyn and Alvin opened their farm to school tours for over fifty years, reaching thousands of children. Children were given a chance to milk a cow; pet a calf, hold a duckling, chicken, or pig; pick an apple and were given a free carton a milk.  Money was never charged for these tours; it was their way of teaching children about farm life and sharing their passion.  A way of sharing everyday kindness.  It is her dream to convert her barn into an agricultural resource center for future generations.

Carolyn is a true caregiver, opening her heart, and if need be her home, to aunts, her mom and elderly friends without family. She would clean their houses, drive them to doctor appointments, cook and shop for them, but she went beyond tasks and always made them feel loved. My cousins remembering delivering many meals she made to many shut-ins.  She delivered food but also stayed and spent time with each person to cheer-up their day. She always made time for those in need.

So, how have you integrated kindness into your life? My Aunt Carolyn has done it by marrying her passions with her talents. She does not wait to be asked, she just makes the time.   She exemplifies everyday kindness and for that reason my Aunt Carolyn is this week’s Caring Heart award winner.

Thanks to Linda Wenck and Gloria Basse for contributing to this week’s article.  In Linda’s words, “My Mom is the kindest, most loving person I know. She is always thinking about how to help and make other people happy!”

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com and please sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!

 

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    Where Does Your Beauty Lie?

    Caring Hearts

Where Does Your Beauty Lie?

Barb 2018-11-07T23:18:29-05:00

What does beauty mean?  External beauty is defined by the social norms of the era. In Victorian times, the paler the complexion, the more beautiful you were considered.  The use of lead-based face paint was common to achieve that pale, sickly look thought to be beautiful. A horrifying thought to us. Even in the early 1900’s, women would cover up and shade themselves from the sun.  Having a tan meant you were a field laborer. During the late Middle Ages, a protruding stomach was coveted.  The wealthy would weigh their guest when they arrived and when they left to ensure that there was a weight gain during their overnight stay.  Overweight meant opulence and beauty. These examples demonstrate how external beauty is defined by ever changing societal rules while kindness never changes and always defines inner beauty. 

By today’s standards, my friend Sue is beautiful. She rocks 70.  Sue is one of those people who if you didn’t see her for twenty years, you would instantly know her on a crowded street because she looks the same.  Her beauty is timeless.  However, what really makes Sue so special is that she has an inward beauty. Her beauty is projected from the inside of her soul and that is why I love her. She truly is a shining star, as her sister said when she toasted Sue at her birthday party.  

Sue was one of nine children.  Luckily, her father was a butcher, so the family never was hungry, but there were times when Sue’s dresses were tattered and worn.  She learned what it was like to be looked down upon and to be bullied at school just because her family did not have the money for new clothes.  Today, Sue loves spreading kindness, she talks to everyone and never wants anyone to feel like she did those days so long ago.  Her father always said, “He was rich in family and love instead of money.” Sue’s love for her family is the center of her life.

Sue was my first boss when I returned to full-time work after having my children. My children were two and five years of age at the time.  It was not an easy decision for me to work full-time.  I was always feeling guilty, guilty when I worked, guilty when I stayed home with a sick child, guilty to be me.  Thank goodness, Sue was my boss. Her kids were about 12 years older than mine and Sue was so much wiser.  She knew how to balance work and mothering.  She loved her job and loved her children even more.  She taught me to be present where I am and to be grateful. Sue, being a single mom, was grateful that she had a corporate job to feed her family.  She lives every day in gratitude and always sees the best in someone.  She has so much compassion and also strives for only “win-win” situations.

As I sat at her birthday party and heard how much everyone loves her, I was filled with gratitude for our friendship of thirty plus years.  No matter how much time has elapsed between our visits, we are connected as if we were still friends in the 1980’s.

Sue exemplifies inner beauty.  Her light shines from within. Her light is fueled by kindness, compassion, gratitude and love.  Sue always shines on no matter what happens to her.  Sue lives with kindness in her heart, so that is why she is this week’s recipient of the Caring Heart Award.

Further discussion:

  •  Where do you rate yourself on the inner beauty scale?  Are you a “10” like my friend, Sue?
  •  When someone is unkind to you,  do you return unkindness or kindness?

Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart Award?  If so, please contact us.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com and please sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!

 

 

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    First “Caring Heart Award” Honors Nurses

    Caring Hearts

First “Caring Heart Award” Honors Nurses

Barb 2018-11-07T23:08:49-05:00

Welcome to week two of my kindness blog!  This blog is dedicated to making the world a kinder place, one person at a time.   One of the ways I am promoting kindness is by recognizing unsung heroes, those that live with kindness in their hearts everyday.  Today, I am honoring nurses.  They are often overlooked for the difficult job they do day in and day out.  Nurses that care for their patients with their heart are truly a gift.  There is no better way to start the Caring Heart award than honoring nurses and, in particular, my beautiful daughter, Becky. 

Becky wanted to be a pediatric nurse from an early age.  She has such a caring heart as exemplified by her role in a medical mission to Burkina Faso, Africa, one of the poorest countries in the world, even though she had to give up her vacations for a year.

Of course as Becky’s mom, I am proud of my daughter, so I asked one of her peers to give me examples of her kindness.  This is what Roshini wrote:

“Becky is one the most caring nurses I know. I’ve seen her in action. As nurses, we make a commitment to care for others. We leave our families, sometimes during very hard times, in order to provide that care. Becky’s kindness towards others and her patients radiates at work. Her selfless actions are never overlooked. She ensures that the needs of all of her patients are met. Becky treats all of her patients as if they were her own family. Being in the location we work in, we unfortunately see a lot of kids who come in with a low socioeconomic status and have little to no family. Becky really makes it a point to ensure that her kids never lack the feeling of nurturing. Not only is Becky kind, caring, and committed to her patients, but she treats her work family and friends the same way. Becky is always willing to help others when they’re in need. Her experience, skills, and friendship are an asset to anyone whose life she enters. I’m proud to call her my friend and I hope to one day have the experience and skills she has shown me at the hospital and in life in general!

I believe nurses are unsung heros.  So, the next time a nurse helps you heal, please tell them how much you appreciate them.  Even, better, buy them a coffee, for if they are a hospital nurse they are most likely working a twelve hour shift.

 

Ways to stay in  touch:

Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  or on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LiveKinder/ or sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com

 

 

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