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Monthly Archives: March 2017

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    Where Does Your Beauty Lie?

    Caring Hearts

Where Does Your Beauty Lie?

Barb 2018-11-07T23:18:29-05:00

What does beauty mean?  External beauty is defined by the social norms of the era. In Victorian times, the paler the complexion, the more beautiful you were considered.  The use of lead-based face paint was common to achieve that pale, sickly look thought to be beautiful. A horrifying thought to us. Even in the early 1900’s, women would cover up and shade themselves from the sun.  Having a tan meant you were a field laborer. During the late Middle Ages, a protruding stomach was coveted.  The wealthy would weigh their guest when they arrived and when they left to ensure that there was a weight gain during their overnight stay.  Overweight meant opulence and beauty. These examples demonstrate how external beauty is defined by ever changing societal rules while kindness never changes and always defines inner beauty. 

By today’s standards, my friend Sue is beautiful. She rocks 70.  Sue is one of those people who if you didn’t see her for twenty years, you would instantly know her on a crowded street because she looks the same.  Her beauty is timeless.  However, what really makes Sue so special is that she has an inward beauty. Her beauty is projected from the inside of her soul and that is why I love her. She truly is a shining star, as her sister said when she toasted Sue at her birthday party.  

Sue was one of nine children.  Luckily, her father was a butcher, so the family never was hungry, but there were times when Sue’s dresses were tattered and worn.  She learned what it was like to be looked down upon and to be bullied at school just because her family did not have the money for new clothes.  Today, Sue loves spreading kindness, she talks to everyone and never wants anyone to feel like she did those days so long ago.  Her father always said, “He was rich in family and love instead of money.” Sue’s love for her family is the center of her life.

Sue was my first boss when I returned to full-time work after having my children. My children were two and five years of age at the time.  It was not an easy decision for me to work full-time.  I was always feeling guilty, guilty when I worked, guilty when I stayed home with a sick child, guilty to be me.  Thank goodness, Sue was my boss. Her kids were about 12 years older than mine and Sue was so much wiser.  She knew how to balance work and mothering.  She loved her job and loved her children even more.  She taught me to be present where I am and to be grateful. Sue, being a single mom, was grateful that she had a corporate job to feed her family.  She lives every day in gratitude and always sees the best in someone.  She has so much compassion and also strives for only “win-win” situations.

As I sat at her birthday party and heard how much everyone loves her, I was filled with gratitude for our friendship of thirty plus years.  No matter how much time has elapsed between our visits, we are connected as if we were still friends in the 1980’s.

Sue exemplifies inner beauty.  Her light shines from within. Her light is fueled by kindness, compassion, gratitude and love.  Sue always shines on no matter what happens to her.  Sue lives with kindness in her heart, so that is why she is this week’s recipient of the Caring Heart Award.

Further discussion:

  •  Where do you rate yourself on the inner beauty scale?  Are you a “10” like my friend, Sue?
  •  When someone is unkind to you,  do you return unkindness or kindness?

Do you know someone that deserves a Caring Heart Award?  If so, please contact us.

Staying in Touch: Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com and please sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow LiveKinder on Facebook!

 

 

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    Kindness is a “Key” to Opening Your Heart

    Kindness

Kindness is a “Key” to Opening Your Heart

Barb 2018-11-07T23:21:37-05:00

Has the fear of being vulnerable stopped you from being kind?  Vulnerability is interesting subject.  As stated in the dictionary, “Vulnerable is best used for a person whose feelings are so delicate that they can’t withstand any criticism or pressure.”  We all have different degrees of vulnerability acceptance in our life.  I know people that are very secretive, they tell people close to them not to tell others about their plans.  If they are on Facebook, it is difficult for them even to hit “LIKE,” for they are very private.

Being on this journey, I had come face to face with being more vulnerable. It got me thinking how we live in our everyday life patterns. For us move to a kinder life, we need to put ourselves out there more, to let our light shine and not hide it under a bushel — to be more vulnerable.  When you live in your own truth, it gets less important what others think.

I’m going to share an example of how my own vulnerability almost stopped me from being kind.  I was at Chicago’s O’Hare airport when a young man approached me.  He was frantic about getting to Milwaukee to see his mom via the bus shuttle, as he did not have enough money to buy the ticket.  My first instinct was  to think this was some type of scam, I wasn’t going to be taken advantage of.  I was thinking this was probably a lie.  I didn’t want to be vulnerable; I was judging him for what he might be really doing with the money.  However, I looked in his eyes and saw the eyes of my son.  I remember the time my son was robbed and needed help from strangers.  In that moment,  I knew I had to help him.  I knew how much it would mean to his mom to see her son that night.  I went from being horrified of being taken advantage, to feeling  blessed that I was able to help.  This is what I was thinking as I saw him run to get the bus.

Sometimes, we prevent ourselves from being kind because we are too afraid to be vulnerable;  too quick to judge the situation; and too busy finding ways to justify not doing the kind act.  However, when we see the humanity in each other, kindness becomes easy. Kindness may be the key to opening your heart to others even more.

Kindness Discussion 

Was there a time when you felt vulnerable but decided to be kind anyway?   What was it that caused you to make that decision?

Kindness Action

What can you do today that will take you out of your everyday life patterns to create a new kindness pattern?

Additional Resource  

Brene Brown’s TED Talk:,  “The Power of Vulnerability” is thought-provoking. 

Staying in Touch

Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  and please sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com or follow us on Facebook.

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    First “Caring Heart Award” Honors Nurses

    Caring Hearts

First “Caring Heart Award” Honors Nurses

Barb 2018-11-07T23:08:49-05:00

Welcome to week two of my kindness blog!  This blog is dedicated to making the world a kinder place, one person at a time.   One of the ways I am promoting kindness is by recognizing unsung heroes, those that live with kindness in their hearts everyday.  Today, I am honoring nurses.  They are often overlooked for the difficult job they do day in and day out.  Nurses that care for their patients with their heart are truly a gift.  There is no better way to start the Caring Heart award than honoring nurses and, in particular, my beautiful daughter, Becky. 

Becky wanted to be a pediatric nurse from an early age.  She has such a caring heart as exemplified by her role in a medical mission to Burkina Faso, Africa, one of the poorest countries in the world, even though she had to give up her vacations for a year.

Of course as Becky’s mom, I am proud of my daughter, so I asked one of her peers to give me examples of her kindness.  This is what Roshini wrote:

“Becky is one the most caring nurses I know. I’ve seen her in action. As nurses, we make a commitment to care for others. We leave our families, sometimes during very hard times, in order to provide that care. Becky’s kindness towards others and her patients radiates at work. Her selfless actions are never overlooked. She ensures that the needs of all of her patients are met. Becky treats all of her patients as if they were her own family. Being in the location we work in, we unfortunately see a lot of kids who come in with a low socioeconomic status and have little to no family. Becky really makes it a point to ensure that her kids never lack the feeling of nurturing. Not only is Becky kind, caring, and committed to her patients, but she treats her work family and friends the same way. Becky is always willing to help others when they’re in need. Her experience, skills, and friendship are an asset to anyone whose life she enters. I’m proud to call her my friend and I hope to one day have the experience and skills she has shown me at the hospital and in life in general!

I believe nurses are unsung heros.  So, the next time a nurse helps you heal, please tell them how much you appreciate them.  Even, better, buy them a coffee, for if they are a hospital nurse they are most likely working a twelve hour shift.

 

Ways to stay in  touch:

Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  or on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LiveKinder/ or sign-up for weekly kindness message at www.LiveKinder.com

 

 

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    My Inaugural Post

    Kindness

My Inaugural Post

Barb 2018-11-07T23:08:15-05:00

     This is my inaugural post and I am very excited that you have chosen to be part of this journey.  One of the definitions of inaugural found in the Merriam-Webster dictionary is, “marking a beginning :  first in a projected series”.  This blog was difficult to start.  It was difficult to commit to writing a blog because fear entered  my head with questions like, “What if no one wants to read it?” “Do you really want everyone to know what you’re thinking? and “Do you realize that not everyone is going to agree with you?” I have not been one to let myself be so public, so vulnerable.  An “inaugural” post seems like perfect terminology. Today is a day I have planned for over a year, as it took me longer to set up this website than expected.  I practiced writing posts and I found writing has brought a peace that counterbalances those fears. It is all about getting the message out and not about the critics that judge. If I only help one person, then this blog is a success in my eyes.

     I have become very passionate about kindness, because more than ever kindness is needed in our world. Kindness is not just about doing kind acts but actually thinking deeper about how you live your every day life. The focus of this blog will be on every day kindness, though I also love the power of random acts of kindness.

     I worked for many years as a process engineer. My job responsibility included improving processes and mentoring others to improve processes that resulted in millions of dollars of savings for the company. I believe that process engineering skills and thinking can be applied to improving our lives, not just companies. This became evident to me when I was awoken in the middle of the night with the foundation of my first book, “Live Kinder“.  I felt so blessed to be a conduit of the information presented in the book. I envisioned that the “Live Kinder” book would be the first chapter of a larger book about improving your life. However, as I sat in church a few weeks ago, I heard the Voice of God tell me in no uncertain terms that my kindness blog is my life’s purpose. Today, the public journey begins for me.

    Think of someone right now that needs to be kinder. Who did you come up with? Did you think of yourself? When I started writing, “Live Kinder” I interviewed people about kindness and discovered that most people think they are kind enough and don’t see a need to become kinder. People could see the need in others but could not see an improvement opportunity in themselves. I did not expect this.

     Think of the person you thought of when I asked, “Who in your life could be kinder?” Then answer this week’s discussion question:

March 7, 2017  Kindness Work

Discussion Questions:
What makes a person unkind in your eyes?
Do you think you are a kind person?

If you are a kind person, is there anything you can do to help the unkind person you thought about?

Thank you for taking this journey with me!

 

Barbara Hirsh can be reached at info@LiveKinder.com  or on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LiveKinder/

 

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